User blog:Angella (Loves Eclaire)/Meghan Goldsworthy pt 6
Monday I ditched Eli the moment he parked the car at school. I had to find someone to talk to; someone who I really hoped would talk to me. Where was she? “Clare!” I said seeing her at her locker. She looked up but when she saw me she looked away. “Hi Meghan,” She said, pulling books out of her locker. “How are you?” “Clare, I know you’re mad at me or embarrassed to be seen with me but I really need to talk to you right now.” My voice got higher and I started pulling on my jacket sleeve. Clare looked at me, and even though she tried to hide it, my best friend felt bad for me. “What’s wrong?” She said, shutting her locker. I grabbed her by the arm and pulled her through the halls to the outside courtyard. I sat down on the bench and looked at her. “I can’t talk to Eli and I can’t talk to Adam, I need to talk to you. Girl to girl talk!.” “Look Meghan, I only found out about you a few days ago. I don’t know if I can talk about your problem this soon.” She tried not to stare at my arm. “What, not Clare this isn’t about my problem.” I said, tugging once more on my sleeve. “Clare, do you think Adam is in love with me.” Now that threw her. She blinked and stared at me. “What?” She sat down beside me. “What do you mean Adam’s in love with you?” “I don’t know, I’ve never noticed anything. But someone else said, and I didn’t know what to think. I can’t talk to Eli; I can’t talk to Adam, obviously. So I came to you. I know that you’re having trouble with being around me but I really need a girl to talk to.” I took a breath. “No,” Clare said, putting her arm around me. “Don’t pay any attention to my stupid feelings. I was just shocked ok?” Then she looked me in the eye. “Whatever you are I will have to deal because you my friend. Ok, so let’s looking the facts about you and Adam.” “The facts, ok. What are the facts?” I asked. Then dang it, I started rubbing my arm. Whenever I got nervous or upset or just really had to fight the feeling of wanting heroin again. My arm would hurt. Clare noticed and pulled my hand away. “Well ok. He is the only one that calls you Meg,” Clare said. “You two are like joined at the hip, you two always smile like idiots when, the other is around.” She trailed off, looking at me with wide eyes. “Oh boy, this is just great.” I said. “Do you not like him back?” Clare asked. I shrugged. “I’m not sure, he is one of my best friends and I love him to death. But…” I stood up and started pacing. “Clare don’t think I’m a horrible person. But when I was little and when I got out of rehab I swore to myself that I was never going to date someone that wasn’t a guy, just a plain straight normal guy. I’ve seen what it can do to a family and while for some people, sure it great but I don’t know….” “Hey slow down.” Clare said. “Look it makes since because of your moms you just wants to have your own life. It’s Something different from them.” “It’s my own form of teenage rebellion, dating a nice sweet guy.” I said laughing. “But I don’t know, if it was Adam. I just don’t know.” My voice jumped a few octaves and I started rubbing my arm. “Ok, Meghan.” Clare said grabbing my arm, “First, here have some of this.” She pulled a pack of gum out of her pocket and offered me a piece. I looked at it for a second before I busted out laughing. “Clare that’s for people who want to quit smoking!” I said. She turned bright red and put it away. “Second,” Clare said, becoming very serious. “Meghan, forget your family, forget Adam’s a girl. Just think about you and him, would that make you happy?” I starred at her the question really hitting home for me. “I have to think about it, but thanks Clare, you really helped me.” I said hugging her. She smiled, the bell then rang and we both went to class. Category:Blog posts